Climbing up
Amongst the clouds
See your face
Within this great place.

A

Thrown into this world
Craving nothing but air to breath
Lost amongst the madness
Finding myself lost in the sadness

Ahead I see a light
As clear as day
As the grass is green
Finally a ledge on which to lean

Waiting patiently for the end
Awaiting the serenity
A place of utter joy
Where you don’t get tossed around like a toy

But as I walk
Along this desert

Called life
I realize tis only a mirage.

Wishful thinking ran away
With my heart and my dreams
Tricking me into dispair
But I find I no longer care

To be left alone
Seems a dream
No more remindings of my failures
And misfortunes, and hurts

After so long
People stop caring
You share my problems with all
You only set me up to fall

Anger me with your rage
Curse me with your words
Drown me with your pain
Leave me nothing but slain

Expect way too much
Way too soon
I want to get there
But this really isn’t fair

No more “you are her”
Why do you do what you do?
Why cant you just stop?
Stop it stop it stop it

Am I dreaming?
Am I free?
From these chains that hold me
Have you finally set me free?

Your body has held me down
Your presence speared through my soul
Stuck in this time.
Repeating this sinful crime.

The scent of you
Sends darts throughout my heart.
Knowledge of the lies,
Of all the broken ties.

Look up, I can see the clouds.
Through this great mass of water.
Lungs restricted of air
My heart stripped bare

Please, pull me out
Don’t hold me down anymore
My body craves what you cant give
All I want to do is live

I paddle, struggle soully
I can feel it
But I cant get there
My lungs crave air.

I gasp for air
Stuck in the deep blue
All I feel is you holding me down
Your lack of love has left me nothing but down

My lungs fill with water
Slowly my brain understands
My heart slows
Look up, I see the choice you’ve chose.

You finally let go
I feel myself slowly rise
Knowing the power you hold
My life begins to unfold.

You hold me in the palm of your hand
Break me or save me
A choice only you make
How does it feel, knowing there is a life you can take?


So now you know
My heart no longer exists
My soul bleeds, split in two
And you hold my body only for you.

You’ve won.
You’ve beat me down
Broken and empty
So are you glad now that you have me?

Searching within my broken heart

Craving what you can not give

Overwhelming are my thoughts of you.

Torturous, breaking me in two

Trembling is my heart for you.

Starving for love

Crying for truth

Obviously not able

To give what I need

Trying would be too much for you.

So you make convenience for yourself

Call when you want.

Obligations of my body.

Time and time again

Tattered pieces of my heart

Storing my soul

Coerce my body, yet you may

Oblivious of my pain

Throwing away the pain I feel

To share these times, wasn’t that the deal?

Breath me in

Take me

Absorb me

Remove me from this hell called life

End the misery

Of my never ending failures

Wrong doings and hurts

Stop me before I stop myself

Not able to choose

But I always lose

Hurting and bending

Those who deserve it the least

Package me up in a box

Shipping listed:

Anywhere, but here

Stuck, stagnant and alone

To breath would be a wonder

Spread my wings

Soar above

Everyone and everything.

No worries, no fears

No sorries, no tears

No overwhelming emotions

Or irrational notions

Its not white

So it must be black

It feels good now

So it must be right

My brain is so broken

I wish it was more like skin

Get at band-aid

And the pain will fade

I need a band-aid for my heart

Scotch tape it back together

The pain is unrealistic

False in its notions

Idiotic in its reason

Unrealistic of the reality

Where is the switch?

To stop this pain, this burden.

The switch to start my life

And stop hers?

To live and love and hope

A dream of mine for a long time now.

I hear a whisper
in my veins
telling me
"run to him, run to him"

Desire to leap ten times
then take a glance
look at the signs
Just take the chance

Craving your arms around me
your kisses on my skin
The feel of you in me
Heart rattling like tin

Wake up to the scents of you
Looking and seeing only your eyes
Somthing craving to do.
Bodily ties.

This desire I have
My hunger for you
do me a favor...
Feed me!

My heart beats
slower
and slower
and slower
stops.

The reality
the truth
pain

Drowning,
going deeper
and deeper
into the abiss
of darkness.

No light
to be seen,
there will be
no hand to pull meout.

Alone.